I went out on a date.....

...with my boyfriend and came home engaged! Can I  even believe it? It happened quickly, I had no idea, he totally surprised me and lied to me...for like a month. 

So he lured up to the Bunker Hill Monument on date night - we like to go to the Warren Tavern for the best raspberry pie known to man, under the guise of taking evening pictures.  Come to find out it was in fact Bunker Hill day....but he said that was not the reason he was there.  I have no clue.... he starts to bend down on one knee and I thought Oh No! What's wrong? Did you hurt yourself?  Hello duh.... I had told myself earlier that there was no way he would propose. He is too calm....well, once again, he proved me wrong.

So he gave me a beautiful diamond ring, I said YES, smacked him on the arm as I choked on my own hair and tears. We called my mom and went and had pie. It was an awesome night.

When we got home, he had taped messages all over the room for me, had champagne and rose petals spread around. It was a perfect, perfect engagement proposal.

I have to say that being engaged is better than dating any day of the week....I encourage everyone to do it as much as possible.  Probably the best thing for me is that I have no doubts, no craziness in the head, no neurotic thoughts, just real surity that this is a good, good thing.

We are in the wedding planning stage, which takes a lot of energy, it is a ton of fun but lots of energy, conversation, really digging deep to discover what is right for us, lots of visiting, emailing, comparing, lists and lists and lists. I love it cause I love him and I love us.

So welcome to my wedding planning page with a little bit of my crazy, askew world throw in.

Thanks for stopping by and if you have any great wedding thoughts, send them my way!

Breaking up is hard to do...

I had to break up with that guy in my head, the one I created as a girl, the perfect man, the perfect mate, the one I have been searching in vain for all of my adult life and the one I will never find cause there is no way in hell he exists.  Yeah that one....I had to break up with him...and it is for good this time. He never calls. He never takes me out. I am always left unfulfilled and longing for more. He never compliments me. He never takes care of me, holds my hand when I cross the street. Can't remember the last time, if ever, he made me dinner or brought be fresh flowers. I am usually left talking to myself as I mull over our problems...he isn't much of a talker.  He has never met my nephew or my cats. I dress up for him, have my hair and nails done and he never seems to notice. What must I do to get his attention, to get a single glance my way, to have a word of kindness uttered in my direction, a simple recognition of my existence? So for this and so many other reason, I have to break up with the guy in my head. 

You see, I have found a man in real life who does all the thing Head Guy doesn't do. Real Life Man is not the guy in my head, he never will be, he will never be this figment of my imagination in a place where I can live and be happy in my head with my warped sense of what a relationship is supposed to be.  Come to find out I don't want him to be.  Head Guy can never ever give me what I want and as much as I love him in my head, in my awake life, he leaves me empty and hollow.  Real Life Man fills me full of life and love, sweet nothings, soft kisses, kind words and he holds my hand and my heart. He engages with me in conversation about movies, life, news, nothingness and the weather.  He is nothing like Head Guy yet everything that Head Guy was supposed to be.  Real Life Man is what every little girl hopes the guy in her head will turn out to be. I guess I am one of the lucky ones.

Saying good bye is hard to do....Head Guy has sustained me through lots of tough times.  He is what I know.  It is like giving up a really good bad habit or a defensive mechanism.  I let him go reluctantly yet happily.  Thanks for the memories.