One month to go - looking back..

When I got engaged my already married sister gave me some great advice, choose three things you care about, focus on those and let the rest go.  And I took it to heart. My number #1-  location, we chose the Commanders Mansion in Watertown, a Civil War era mansion tucked way on a few acres of meticulous landscape in the heart of an urban area. We fell in love with it the moment we stepped inside and in the month long search following – we felt like we HAD to look elsewhere – nothing lived up to the gold standard of our Mansion. I was a Commander’s Bride and we knew it was the place.

Unfortunately, it necessitated the DIYing of my #2, invitations and my #3 decorations and everything else in the wedding.  Because we were trying for a $10,000 wedding, we also had to increase our budget. But it was also a gift to me. Choice #1 gave me the chance to become intimately connected with every aspect of our wedding celebration, making each element uniquely our own, special touches of personality added throughout, completely us and not someone else’s version of us.  It allowed for my Type A, need for control personality to be put to good use, I only had to worry specifically about three things.

Well three things are never really just three things. But I have also been very lucky as all the "things" of my wedding fall in place.  My wedding cake is a gift from a baker friend with whom I work….I get to try out all the tests he does. My bridal necklace, a gift from a jeweler friend, we designed it together one rainy Saturday afternoon in the midst of tea and chatting.  My invitations, a labor of love, designed, cut, glued, folded, reglued sitting on the couch in my living room AFTER an all day round one of putting them together with my maids and mom. My cats love to bat around the scraps of paper strewn hither and yon and I keep finding snippets of ribbon stashed in their secret hiding places. 

I don’t care about bacon wrapped scallops or specifically designed centerpieces that will die on three days.

But more about later.....

Beantown Bride Post - The Groom

Author: Mellissa A. Knowles

Photography by: Eric Limon Photography

The Groom- a wedding duo's often overlook other half-plays an important role as a support system and planning partner for his bride-to-be. He may be content to just "pitch-in" when asked or manage non-wedding life, the house (my husband-to-be put in a new kitchen floor) or the car. Either way, planning a wedding is a trial run for how you will work together as a married couple.

Remember: A wedding is a massive undertaking, definitely not a one-woman show. Even through your fiance may be aesthetically challenged when choosing centerpieces or favors, he can be involved in so many other ways. So, give him a chance to show you he can handle anything you thrown at him, be it alter flowers or a kitchen floor.

Five helpful tasks for a groom:

1. Plan budget
2. Choose groomsmen's attire
3. Plan rehearsal dinner
4. Arranging wedding day transportation
5. Plan honeymoon

The countdown...

Today it is 55 days to our wedding and I feel like I am woefully unprepared. They say the last two months are hell on the way to heaven...ok...there is not they, I said it.  Yeah...that is what it feels like somedays, I am not able to enjoy the engagement because the invites are out, the tree is not made, the notes not cut, the napkins not ordered. Everyday we move closer, everyday another things gets added just as something is completed, so you never really get to cross something off your to-do list. It stays the same.

No matter how many deadlines there are, I officially bypass all of them.  I think I need to start working backwards, admit my frailty, humanity and my upper limits and just be wabi sabi as my mother says.


The wabi sabi aesthetic is sometimes described as one of beauty that is "imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete".^[1] It is a concept derived from the Buddhist assertion of the Three marks of existence (三法印 sanbōin^?), specifically impermanence.  


Thanks goodness for Wikipedia. 


This is a rambling post.


Currently I need to finish - 
- invitations -  3 weeks late
- veil and shoes
- wish tree
- arch decoration
- wine bottles
- maps 
- dictionary
- ribbon wands
- vows and ceremony
- music
- our dance
- flowers
- hair trial
- bathroom baskets
- programs
- signs
- hooks


So I have a few things, not in that order. It is all possible. And what is not, will be Wabi Sabi.  F*** wabi sabi.

What's in a color? Apparently everything!

According to Project Wedding:

"The colors you choose for your big day reflect your personality and style. You can create a sophisticated environment or a whimsical escape. Colors can influence moods and exude sensuality, coziness, earthiness and youthfulness."

So I have chosen festive fuchsia, caribbean blue and saffron yellow. I think the names sort of say it all with having to go into a long psychic reader type analysis. But I will indulge anyway.

Blue: Soothing, compassionate and cool, blue is the color of tranquility and royalty. Blue belles are deliberate, introspective, conservative and patient, tending to be sensitive and wise. Serene and cool, blue denotes cautious partners who are faithful but require a calm and harmonious existence. From watery aqua to a deep shade of midnight, blue can be soft and sweet or strong and bold.

(Apparently they like parasols too) 

I went with the purple section cause they don't talk about Festive Fuchsia. BUT purple IS my favorite color and more appropriately, lavender....to die for.  So I'm including purple and pink. 

Purple: Often associated with both royalty and luxury, purple is a passionate color. Choosing purple symbolizes dignity, tolerance and value. Violet lovers tend to be unconventional and observant, with a multifaceted personality. Tolerant and witty, purple devotees are likely to achieve authoritative positions. From light lavender and lilac buffs, who tend to be charming, witty and cultured, to deep eggplant lovers, who are creative and talented, purple can be provocative or sweet.

Purple + Pink with a dash of red, which is a passionate, romantic choice, impulsive and outgoing = FESTIVE FUCHSIA


Pink: A softer, girlish choice, pink is the sweeter side of red. A delicate hue, pink represents a sensitive heart that is affectionate and nurturing. The bride surrounded with pink has a maternal grace and compassion and a desire for protection or shelter. The rosy hue fan may also have a strong personality, but one that is willing to share.

Saffron yellow, again, not mentioned so I am combining orange and yellow to get the best of both worlds. 

Orange: Spontaneous and daring, brides who choose orange are bold. Because orange is a happy and trendy hue, orange enthusiasts tend to be popular, have excessive energy and are part of a large social circle. From a bright and happy backdrop to an exotic, spicy richness, brides who prefer orange tend to be fearless and curious, with a zest for life.

Yellow: The color of a sunny day, yellow denotes happiness and hope. Exuding warmth and vitality and usually possessing a great sense of humor, people who love yellow have cheerful spirits and optimistic values. You tend to look forward to the future and are intellectual, creative and idealistic. Yellow represents enlightenment and spirituality, lending itself as a great color on your day of matrimony.

So there you have it. In summary we are: soothing, compassionate and cool, royalty and luxury, and passionate with dignity, tolerance and value, impulsive and outgoing, affectionate and nurturing, spontaneous and daring and happy, exuding warmth and vitality and usually possessing a great sense of humor.

I think that covers the grand scale, the full spectrum of complex personalities and wedding color choices.  We got 'em all.  Hey, at least you can't say we are boring!

Parasols are pretty

I am in love the idea of brightly colored, slightly opaque, slightly translucent rice paper parasols on a sunny wedding day in June. The very thought makes me giggly inside. I picture myself twirling and twirling and twirling it around as my ladies and I walk together across a sweet green field towards my beloved. There is something very romantic and whimsical about the idea of a parasol.

I think I might have to go buy a few.....but what color for a bride? I love the deep fuchsia color but may have to settle for something light instead. The maids get to have all the color fun!

These colors are totally perfect. But I want the fuchsia!

My two dresses went to therapy....

...to work it out and they still don't like me. I am not sure what to do and am in a bit of a state over the fact that I have two dresses that don't like me and I don't like them. One I bought from Running of the Brides with my mom and sis and at the time, I think I forced myself to love it cause it was a good deal, a nice designer and I wouldn't have to think about it anymore. Upon learning that it would be $500 to alter, more than half of what it costs, I found another dress that very day at a bridal shop we were visiting it and immediately purchased it. Much to my chagrin, which I close my eyes, it is not the dress I see in my wedding pictures. It is beautiful but is it me? What is me?

Dress selection has an interesting way of pulling up all sorts of old hurts, images issues, self-esteem problems and mother/daughter relationship buttons. I continue to ask myself, how do you want to be seen, how to you think people see you, are you stuck in a box in people's minds and can't get out? More important, are you stuck in your own box, banging on the walls, looking for a crack to break it wide open and let in some air?

[As I type, visions of Pink Floyd's The Wall pop into my head]

All this over a dress, which I thought could be JUST a dress. But it is far more than JUST a dress. It is an extension of my psyche, my personality, my isms, my identity. I guess. I mean for some people, it is certainly not that big of a deal....oh this one looks good, I'll take it, and off to the next thing.

I purchased my dresses emotionally and financially but not lovingly. And I think that is where the problem lies. Not lovingly of myself, my worth, my value, my own right to want what I want, not lovingly respectful of my own process, or patterns or desire to be just as perfect as the brides I see in all the magazines and blogs.

This lovingly issue is getting in the way - of work, I look at dress websites instead, of my personal life, Juj told me yesterday "this is getting a little out of control", of my planning time, I have appointments with bridal shops and only 108 days left, of my emotional serene path, I am starting to feel the pressure.

With all the pro and cons, do this, do that, 'best dresses for you body' type of advice running around the internet and magazines these days, it is really really hard to also reconcile the emotional aspect that comes with being perfect in your imperfection for one day, the most important of your life.

With all that being said, I am still heading out to another bridal shop tonight and I will let my dresses fight it out between themselves, stuffed in Juliano's closet because I couldn't bear the thought of looking at their heartbreaking beauty and glorious baggage any longer.

Beantown Bride Post!

I was asked to do some writing for the blog Beantown Bride and today, my first submission to them was published. How exciting! It is a Real Wedding piece on Jason and Barrett, a very sweet couple, who were married last year. The task was to summarize their relationship and wedding in 250 word, no easy feat! But here it is.......enjoy and stay tuned for more posts to come!

Barrett and Jason

Author: Mellissa A. Knowles

Barrett Ward and Jason Ellis are avid Red Sox fans, so it makes perfect sense that they met at a game, watched the Sox on their first date and were engaged near Fenway Park. As Barrett recalls, even though Jason was late to pick her up the first time, "It was the most perfect date I had ever been on." And of their proposal, "I don't remember what he said, all I know is I said yes."

Jason and Barrett's wedding celebration took place on August 15, 2009 at Roxbury Latin School, where her father teaches. Rev. Tony Jarvis, a close family friend who baptized Barrett as a child, married the couple. As she walked down the aisle, Barrett's dark purple calla lily bouquet popped against her champagne colored, silk shantung Romona Keveza gown, purchased at a Brides Against Cancer Event in honor of her grandmother. Her bridesmaids wore Aria dresses in a complimenting pear shade while the men wore classic black tuxedos with green ties.

Guests dined on grilled chicken and cannelloni at long, family style tables with simple green hydrangea centerpieces. The couple gave each guest an individualized jar of homemade mustard. Sun streamed through large reception hall windows, as the newlyweds danced to Allison Krauss "When You Say Nothing at All." Remembering their special day, "It was probably the hottest day of the summer. Everyone was dripping with sweat on the dance floor!" Heat aside; they agree the most memorable part of the day was "I Do."

Wedding Day Details:
Photography by:Gwyneth Colleen

Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas
Gown: Romona Keveza
Florist: Halls of Tara
Caterer: Gourmet Caterer Boston
Venue: Roxbury Latin School
Music: DJ Ed Mullen